Friday, July 20, 2007
Blessed are the meek: for they shall inherit the earth.
I have troubles being meek. Despite my youth underfoot, I find submission difficult now that my life is not under a set of knuckles. I spent so much of my life avoiding two beatings instead of the none I deserved that I just don't want to give up any of the carnal control I now see as my right. I was closer to The Lord in those old days. I could pray without interference, and I felt a small degree of empathy for the cross. Now, the voices take over during moments of concentration or self-attention; I'm also completely unwilling to return to any state of power under pain. Once again, my intellect calls me to go with God, but my life always seems to revolve around fights, arguments, arrogance, and a mortal refusal to submit to any man.