Tuesday, July 26, 2005

Awake

I didn't want to deal with the evil hours of the morning after midnight today; I took three tranqs and my enormous pile of antipsychotics, antidepressants, with a thin little pill to ward off tardive dyskinesia, plus a pepsid to make sure it stays down. Like my doctor said on Friday, "It's not from lack of medication" that my problems continue. I woke up about a half hour ago, checked my email, my blog, and the blogs of my friends. Things seem better for them; it makes me happy. After reading Jaci's blog, I got a little bit of a pick-me-up and decided to make my first entry today not about madness, poetry, or loneliness. I decided to make a wound report. They're healing over, but I think I'll probably get a set of scars when it's all said and done.



Jaci's Blog

She's amazing. If only more people could be like her.

1 comment:

Patmos said...

Hey there my friend. I see your hand, yet I cannot feel it. I see your words and I cannot type them. Yet in both I sense your place among the living today, and that I wish I could not feel, yet a very small part of me does.

Your courage to continue inspires me, it also causes me to lower my guard, then on the other hand it frightens me.

I do think of you so often, wondering if your thoughts have spilled out into this blog, wondering if your body has taken over your mind, or if you madness has taken over your body.

I wish you peace, so much more than joy. I wish you freedom, so much more than peace.