Tuesday, July 19, 2005

On Trying Not to Read the Koran

I just had an IM conversation with a friend, and the topic turned to Islam. Now I'm sitting here trying not to read any more of the Koran. I don't need the conflict in my head right now. I've read the book before, and looking at it now just makes me angrier. Ugh. Why can't I keep my research focused on weird things like The Questing Beast? Why am I torturing myself by reading again a book that only causes pain to me? I don't want the knowlege this book has to offer, no matter how important it is to know what I know. I wish I remained ignorant in high school. Maybe then I would be able to act without counsel. Now I just fight an uphill battle with ignorance that won't believe in monsters, long leggedy beasties and things that go bump in the night, no matter how monstrous some people become.

My friend Tarik is not evil. I hope he hasn't read what I read. I pray for him a lot, if only to keep a bit of contact through the haze that's been opaque since high school. Back then I knew many good muslims. I thought their book would reflect well on their manners and easy friendships. Now I read the Ninth Chapter and wonder if they considered me immune or not. The other day, I got called a bigot by a friend, someone I love. I read. I feel. I love. I'm not a bigot. I'm just a confused man who knows too many good people, and too much of the Koran. I don't want what I read to be real, but I'm confronted every day by the evidence at hand. When my friend Tarik visited New York in the late nineties, after the first bombing of the World Trade Center, he said that the security would not let his family take the tour. I thought it was awful. I thought that bigots ruled the world, and that Islam was on equal footing with every other faith. I wish I remained that way. If losing my knowlege of Islam would mean that those that have suffered would not suffer, I would gladly trade it in. Now I just wonder about the ninth chapter and the Immunities. My father was recently offered a job in Baghdad. He was a U.S. Army intelligence officer for twenty years. I read the immunities in the Ninth Chapter to figure out his status. I don't want to remember my conclusion: He would be immune to Allah's protection. He would be next.

I hate my life. If I could be next, and my death meant everyone would see the truth, I'd gladly die. Of course, the question isn't about dying as Christ died. The question is killing how Christ refused to kill at the Garden of Gethsemane. The question is how much do we want to be immune from Allah's protection? We, as Americans, are not often presented the opportunity to die as Christ did. Our deaths would either be meaningless examples of religion gone mad, as interpreted by the liberal press, or our deaths would be ignored by a world that considers death commonplace. I would like to think that three thousand dead Americans is enough blood money to buy worldwide sympathy. It is far too little. Now we're faced with thousands more dead, and ten times that many by our own hand, just to prove that Allah's protection is meaningless.

Now, my vote has to choose: more dead Americans for more blood money, or more dead Muslims to prove their god is powerless. My desire is to be ignorant, because then I could just choose to look away no matter who dies.

6 comments:

dina said...

You are having conflicts about the Koran?? What conflict can there be with the koran???
The thing is a mishmash!
The lunatic ravings of a mad man!

There is no style, poetic form or flow! It's not even basic good liturature or grammer!

Here is a little bit from the Koran:

"Oh Prophet! Strive against the disbelievers and the
hypocrites! Be harsh with them. Their ultimate abode
is hell, a hapless journey's-end." (Surah 9:73)

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Islamicterrorism/

Thomas Jackson said...

I'm having trouble squaring the Koran with a few muslims I know, and a Christian desire to yank the mote out of my own eye before I remove the beam from others' eyes. Please read my post next time. I never defended the Koran; I've read it and find it indefensible. The only muslim I named was a very good friend of mine named Tarik from high school.

By the way, Grammer is a town in Indiana. I think the word you're looking for is "grammar." Don't throw stones in a glass house.

Laurel Makepeace O'Keefe said...

You missed her spelling of "liturature"...or were you being diplomatic,ie one correction was enough to make your point? My guess is the latter..by the way you are a brilliant man despite or perhaps because of, what you call your madness.dont give in.

Thomas Jackson said...

One well-placed stab can be more effective when dealing with foes than a gruesome scourging. If a person presses too hard on the attack, it can seem excessive. Usually, I prefer to make one attack, preferably one that translates into a good joke. I think the barb I chose is the best to deal with people of Dina's ilk.

dina said...

And my misspelling things is relevant how?
I am not claiming to be a prophet and inventing a new satanic religion out of thin air....

So I didn't use my spell check...big darn deal.

The fact is is the Koran is bad writing by anyone's standards...even such as one as my simple self.

Here is something you can't misspell:

http://www.homestead.com/prosites-prs/JAK09D_RTRIDSP_3_INDONESIA_Reuters_Alertnet

go ahead and remove it from your blog...it's horrible.

But before you do remember this...that was once a beautiful vibrant little girl filled with life and hope...a treasure to her parents and delight of all who knew her.
A muslim following the Koran did that to her and her friends as they were going to school...yeah..praise allah..the death eater..

try to remember that.
or you can go ahead and check my 'grammEr'.

such priorities...

God bless.

Dina

Thomas Jackson said...

Ok. Sorry I took so long to reply, but I'd assumed you'd gone away. Since your last and incredibly tardy comment, someone I loved called me a bigot for my beliefs. I know a woman who was raped by a Muslim man in Egypt when she was eleven. She's much older now, but even after over thirty years, she cannot move past the hurt, pain, and humiliation. My sympathies are with her and her struggle, not with those who took her right to the pursuit of happiness.

You seem to me eager to argue. I think you've chosen the wrong man to attack: just because I write poetry doesn't mean I'm weak, and doesn't mean I support the leftist poetry scene, or their publications. I am not a Muslim; the truth is that I'm very opposed to Islam's ideas. Personally, I believe the whole religion is the work of the Adversary. However, in every bad situation or ideological conflict I've known, there are good people on the wrong side. One of them is my namesake, Thomas Jonathan Jackson; he was a good man on the wrong side of a nasty war. Tarik is another. I've never known a kinder, gentler man; he was never afraid of seeming weak when I knew him. Honesty is something I value highly, and Tarik never lied to me. That's something I cannot say about many Christians I know.

If you want to argue with someone worthy of fighting, there are plenty of avenues for that. Until you decide to fight someone on the other side, take your protests elsewhere: perhaps a leftist, communist, or Islamist blog. There are plenty about who will incur your wrath (which is a sin mind you) without you throwing stones at me or my blog.