Tuesday, September 26, 2006

Monster, Trust Me

When people ask me to use three words to describe myself, I use these: "Monster, trust me." I spend all day, every day alone. If I'm not playing Warhammer, I'm alone. I probably type more words than I speak. That's where I learned how to write. I read a rhyming dictionary, and found poetry. Poetry lead me to a bit of human contact through the written word. Chat rooms, creative writing classes, poetry and prose, all contributed to my writing. I thought for a long time that the product of my monstrosity would somehow lead me out of my own monstrosity. Needless to say, it didn't. Peace? I can bring myself peace, if I accept my monster. Understanding? Maybe it's ahead of me; it sure as hell isn't behind me. Love? Now that's a part of all of you that I can't have. I can try once, or a hundred times; none of that will matter. I don't think anyone could love me in a non-platonic sense. I'm interesting, charming, even compelling, if only for the first few hours you know me. I can write myself into anything. I can't live my way out of a paper bag. Once you hear all the stories, and all the inequity, my act becomes mighty stale. The same wounds hurt, and seek the same remedies. Old wounds, old cures, promise me anything.


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