Tuesday, August 15, 2006


I've gone to Church for a few weeks. I don't fit in well there, but it's closer than most other places. I started going to a small group meeting Friday nights, but I attended the past two Sundays' services. I even got the Eucharist. The Church I attend allows each individual believer to decide the meaning of both forms; I'm a Transubstantiation guy. So far, the small group puts up with me. A few months observing my monstrosity is usually enough for anyone, so we'll see how long the good will lasts. I leave a good first impression on most people, but when I let them into the deep waters of my life for an extended period of time, everyone drowns. I will cling and struggle to hold on, but I will eventually wind up alone at the bottom of my watery lair. That might not sound fair to those that know me, but there's enough evidence to support the Philosophy of The Monster in this blog alone. Count the words between flurries of responses. Count the friends that no longer speak to me. Think of our last communication; no one lasts six months. Don't give me garbage about a self-fulfilling prophecy; the truth is undeniable. The facts speak for themselves, just like this silence. I'm not alone in torture, but I'm alone in mine.

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