Technically Sunday

Today is technically Sunday, but this is my Saturday update. My best friend in Tulsa continues to be a drug-addicted, irresponsible milquetoast, and a very dear friend here continues to put herself second behind someone who claims to love her. I let someone say "I love You" with a scourge in one hand and a bottle in the other for a long time, too. Violence from a father to a son is a little different than what she's going through, but changing how you treat someone based on how much alcohol you consume is a sure sign of bad things to come, particularly if tears are involved.

Here's how it plays out:

drunkard: "Do you think I like hurting you? I love you"

fool: "no, this is my fault"

drunkard: "I love you so much"

fool: "I know"

drunkard: "If you just #insert ultimatum, demand, or excuse here#, everything would be better, I promise"

fool: "ok, I shouldn't have pushed you"

#insert 24 hours#

drunkard: "I never said that"

fool: ". . . but"

drunkard: "that's ok, I don't think it's a bad idea. We'll talk about it later"

#insert 24 hours#

drunkard: "Do you think I like hurting you? I love you"

lather, rinse, repeat

This is the bottom line: whether it's a physical scourge, or an emotional one, point out the abusers, and recognize that alcohol, drugs, sex and the empty promises that go with them aren't good ways to solve problems with friends or loved ones. I'm not saying love isn't real with these people who use, I'm saying that it doesn't matter. When we use these substances and heavy emotional hammers to supress problems between two people who claim to love, love becomes a weapon, not a comfort. Don't put yourself third when you should be equal.