Tuesday, April 04, 2006

My Friend In Tulsa and A Question

I've known my friend in Tulsa for a long time; we were friends way the hell back in High School. That makes it a little over eight years. I've watched him go from a solid believer to a drunk and a drug user to an abusive, lying prick. Right now, he's walking out of a relationship on a second friend of mine. I would call it a troubled relationship, but he is the only one causing trouble as far as I can tell. He's done what he's doing before, and left me to pick up the pieces of a friend. His behavior is that of a drug-addicted, drunken user of women and friends. Sometimes I feel that if I'd done more while he was closer, maybe I could have persuaded him to act differently. I told him a long time ago that I wouldn't give up on him, but now I'm sorely tempted. He's putting me through an emotional minefield, and he's done it before. He makes my life harder than it should be. He has women hanging all over him, and damn near destroyed two of them I'm proud to call friends.

That brings me to my question: How the hell does that work; why do they cling to him? He puts nothing but vice, lies, and emotional extortion into his relationships, and a woman is always there to take him in and love him. I try virtue and honesty. I know I'm a monster, but is my monstrosity that profound?


Prester Bane said...

Of course it is; would we have it any other way? Look at your friends, now. You've obviously gone back to speaking with me over them. It's a shame; you were so young once.

Patmos said...

There is this epedimic among women today.... The messiah complex, the thought that... "I can change them" the thought that loves the bad boy image and will tolerate it, just so they wont have to be sitting at home by themselves on another Friday night.

I have yet to understand women, I am married to one, yet unable to understand her. I dont think she however would put up with my crap, well, it is not a matter of thinking... I know she would not put up with my crap. The reason I bleed on this blogg and vent my frustrations here, cause she would NOT understand nor allow me to speak to her face to face about these issues.

Sorry I did not speak long on the phone the other day, I always feel as if I am bothering you, as if I am taking you away from something. Then there is that akward moment of... "How do I say, I want to die"

Hey, it is also good to see what you look like, though the picture is interesting... "I am not going to lie and say it is great" cause I sure as heck do not understand it, but none the less it is interesting. :)

Chin Up!

Xiporah said...

For me, it was self esteem issues.

You can't do any better. You're too fat. Just accept it. You can change him, you just have to try harder.

As much as she and I do not like each other, it's hard to know that he's putting some one else through the same shit he did to me.

I too told you not to give up on him, and now I'm wondering if I was wrong to tell you that. Right now you're being drained. You have enough burdens without handling this one.

You cannot claim the responsibility for this Thomas. I've learned that wanting to save someone isn't always enough. You can throw them the life saver, but they have to have the desire to grab it themselves.